Aftermath of a Pissing Contest

I made a blog post yesterday to review CSM9s term. The goal was to draw public attention to a plight that has been with the CSM since the beginning of the CSM. I was not the first, but the second member of CSM9 to make mention of CCPs consistent misuse of the body, though I was by far less diplomatic in the way I told the story. It's my style, I don't pull punches, and I say what I mean. I'm often blunt, and this can hurt feelings.

For the first few hours after release of yesterday's blog, the response was overwhelmingly positive. Comments were left on the blog, and I got many lovely messages from past CSM members thanking me for putting it out there. I got thumbs up from fellow bloggers and other Eve Media types for dropping an honest telling of the issues facing the CSM outside of the rosy light the term has been typically painted in. Many of these people were not surprised by what they read because, as I mentioned before, I wasn't the first to say these things this term.

Then CCP Leeloo read what I had to say. I must have struck a nerve, because her public response on twitter wasn't to refute anything that was said, but rather an attempt to marginalize my opinion with a statement that was misleading at best, and patently false at worst. My response to her attack is something (as Rixx Javix predicted) I am now looking back on with no small degree of regret, because in an effort to defend myself, I took focus away from the message I was originally trying to convey and allowed this to become about me.

The slew of personal attacks that followed in the wake of the twitter and reddit drama yesterday were to be expected. I've been a public figure on the internet too long now to let some trolling and faceless people on the internet flinging bad words get to me, but I must apologize to all of you because my response was indeed not the high road I should have taken.

I am truly sorry for that.

I will however, take vindication that while my character was assaulted almost non stop, not a single person stood up to say that anything I had claimed in the post that started all this was false. Many people agreed with it, a bunch of folks engaged in personal attacks, and the rest were just silent. The array of responses should be telling in itself.

When it comes down to it, my hope with that blog is that CCP takes a hard look at how they utilize the CSM, because the CSM doesn't have the capability to wedge their way in themselves no matter how nice OR forcefully they express themselves. There is no rule that any CCP employee aside from the CSM coordinator has to talk to the CSM, and nor should there be. What there should be is a desire to talk with and include the CSM more, because the many minds will only make the whole stronger.

For myself, I will continue to represent lowsec and the highsec gankers and scammers as I have for the remainder of the term (in private when possible, and in the forum of public opinion when necessary). I don't think there is anything left on the table this term anyway right now of importance for either of those crowds, so this will likely be my last CSM9 posting.

Once the term is up, I'll go back to my old role as a member of Eve's media community with a greater understanding of the CSM than I had back in April. DJ Big Country is not a man I have many agreements with, but he made a great point to me today about how much CSM and media duties can conflict and create drama when mixed together. In the media we're used to being able to have any discussion on any topic quite freely, to interview and talk to anyone, and we're not held up with concerns for the NDA or who's feelings we might brush providing we're doing our jobs properly.

There was a time when I was lauded for my approach to the issues facing Eve, and I'm looking forward to getting back to those roots once I shake off the bitter I've collected over the last 9 months.